Sunday Post! Saying Goodbye to Nana

April 24, 2016 Sunday Post 0

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Finally home!

This year has flown by but for me, it has also eeked slowly through. It is hard to imagine that we are almost done with April, but here we are! I am home after spending two months with my mother-in-law and helping out my husband’s grandmother. Sounds convoluted, and really, it is!

Funnily, while I enjoy psychology immensely, I never would have thought about gerontology, and yet, Nana has given me another view of the world. I was blessed to be in a position where I was able to take care of her for two months. Although, if you ask her, she did not need the help. There were only a few times when she really scared me, like when she left the stove on after starting the kettle for her tea. That was why I was there, because although dementia is settling in, she still has a great spirit and is STUBBORN as hell. And even admits it.

Even more interesting than how her brain works at the moment, is the fact that I got to know her. Our conversations prior to these two months were always the same, she was quite proud of Paul and loved that I was in his life. She is definitely one for boosting the ego! This year, I have finally gotten to know who this lady is though. She told me all kinds of wonderful stories about Paul’s grandfather, and a few stories about his mother and his aunts as well! Some stories had me in stitches I was laughing so hard! Others, like knowing that she is the last in a huge family, left me ragged and torn. She has had a long, beautiful life and that is wonderful but when all of your friends and loved ones have left, what is there of the world that gives you hope and a reason for living? I tried to remind her of her grandchildren (she has quite a few) and of the lovely memories and family that are still around. Her mind does not work like that though. She lost her husband years and years ago, and her best friend only last year. Going to a home, for her, is only pushing away the inevitable. Truly, I think if she were not religious, she would have committed suicide. She spoke of it often and it tears me apart knowing that she is so lonely and unhappy.

I hope that I shed some light while I was there. We talked and laughed, cooked and even did a little gardening. Sadly, we did not do the things she loved so much throughout her life, like painting and reading, but her mind just does not grasp those things like it did before.

While I am no longer there and trying to get my life back in order, she is still holding on strong and is facing the idea of moving into a home. I am still very thankful that I had so much time with her, especially since she will be too far away to visit as often as I would like, if at all. It almost felt like I was saying goodbye and after a great two months, it was really hard.

As for getting my life back in order, it is taking much longer than expected. I am starting to get reorganized but feel way behind on everything. I am thinking of giving myself another two weeks to get everything in order so I am not overwhelmed. With that said, that means I will post more starting the middle, if not the end, of May.

Looking forward to May flowers!

How was your April?



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