Book Review: Goddamned Freaky Monsters by Rick Gualtieri

July 27, 2015 Blog, Book Reviews, Horror, Vampires 0

Book Review: Goddamned Freaky Monsters by Rick GualtieriGoddamned Freaky Monsters by Rick Gualtieri
Series: The Tome of Bill #5
on June 6, 2014
Narrator: Christopher John Fetherolf
Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
Genres: Fantasy, Horror, Humor, Paranormal
Pages: 506
Source: Purchase
Buy on Amazon
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There are reasons we fear the night. Now he's trying to stop them.

Three months have passed since the fateful encounter in New York City that ended with the disappearance of Bill Ryder - gamer, geek, and legendary vampire. Now he's back - reawakened halfway across the globe with no allies, clothing, or clue as to how he got there. The only thing he's certain of is that his captors plan to use him for their own nefarious ends and don't care how much blood they spill in the process.

Escape might be the least of his worries, though. Civilization teeters on the brink of chaos. Mythical beasts, once thought the stuff of fantasy, are breaking through the veil, intent on waging war against mankind. At their forefront stands an ancient evil, the last remnant of a people thought long dead, and it's about to cut a swath of destruction through the world not seen since biblical times.

Bill's only chance is to reclaim his life, reconcile with his friends, and muster every bit of attitude he can - because if he fails, Hell on Earth will become far more than just a corny saying.


Goddamned Freaky Monsters (the Tome of Bill, part 5) is 105k words of foul-mouthed horror hilarity by Rick Gualtieri, author of Holier Than Thou and Bigfoot Hunters

My Thoughts

B ook five! Knowing that this fantastic series is about to end gives me conniptions. I was so fascinated that I listened to the audios back to back without stopping. Bill is still quite an idiot, but he is a lovable idiot. Even as a vampire!

Sadly, Bill has a whole different issue this go around. This one didn’t feel like it had as much oomph as the others. Probably because, although Bill is as much of a smartass than ever, he really has some stuff to work out. Namely, how in the world do you escape a vampire prison. Especially when your inner bodyguard has gone missing?

Much like the third book, I think this is more a transitional book. There is a war coming, the veil to other worlds has been lifted, and Bill is going to have to do some serious work to save the world. Not only from everything bad but also from himself. He’s put up a good fight so far but this one is really starting to test his limits. And like the last book, there is even more growth in Bill. There is so much going on that he has to deal with (again) but with his past, and knowing he’s gotten very lucky a lot of times, I think the reader is supposed to really wonder how he is going to get out of this.

I sadly just did not resonate with this one as much as the others. His sarcasm is there, for sure, but I think the dread that is coming on the world is making a heavy weight weigh on Bill. Definitely excited about the next one though!

In short: Absolutely love this series. Recommended to everyone.

Rating Report
3.5 / 5
Character Development
4 / 5
Writing Style
5 / 5
Personal enjoyment
5 / 5
5 / 5
Overall: 4.5 / 5


The Author

About Rick Gualtieri

Rick Gualtieri lives alone in central New Jersey with only his wife, three kids, and countless pets to both keep him company and constantly plot against him. When he’s not busy monkey-clicking out words, he can typically be found jealously guarding his collection of vintage Transformers from all who would seek to defile them.

Defilers beware!

Rick is a horror and comedy writer. He is the author of:

Bill The Vampire
Scary Dead Things
The Mourning Woods
Holier Than Thou
Sunset Strip
Goddamned Freaky Monsters
The Tome of Bill Compendium (vol 1)
Bigfoot Hunters
The Poptart Manifesto

As Cole Vance:
Meeting Misty

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